We Need A Reason

We can always find one if we look hard enough

The thing is we really do. We need a reason to carry on, to keep going and not to curl up and give up.

I have been at rock bottom, or more accurately, whatever you call it that’s further down than that!

I know what it’s like to wonder if it would just be easier to give up completely. To not have to face another day of devastating pain and sadness.

But what I also found is that when you are there and you are facing that choice, there is always a reason to carry on if you want to find one.

For me, it was my daughters and my sister. I didn’t want to be a burden to them, I didn’t want to give them a reason to feel any more sad than they already did.

Once I’d realised that it made things easier. Once I’d decided that yes, I did want to see another birthday, I did want to see who I would be by surviving this, what sort of person I’d become.

I’d made the decision. But now the big question was, how?

How do I survive it? Not only that but how do I live again? I didn’t want to be constantly in survival mode.

So I went back to basics, back to things I knew that had been proven to work. I started writing more, not just a gratitude list but pouring my heart and soul out into my journal. And each day as I did that, I got more clarity, and the hurt and pain eased, just a little bit. By writing I understood things my logical thinking brain was having difficulty grasping.

I upped my meditation time and made it non negotiable. I used it as a time to tune in to my higher self and find answers to what I needed, what was best for me.

I started a daily yoga practice. Once I’d learned the poses, I was able to focus and my outside world faded away for that hour and a half. It has had many other benefits too, so many that I’ve devoted a whole chapter in my book to it. But at the beginning it just gave me the peace I so desperately needed.

I became obsessive about my nutrition because I knew I needed to keep my body healthy. I needed all my strength to get through this.

There are many more things I put into place and practised daily to help me cope with the devastation of my marriage ending.

In my life, I’ve learned that if we want something badly enough, we will always find a way to do it or get it.

I wanted to survive and rebuild my life. I found ways to do it. Some I already knew about and some I learned about to help me.

It probably would have been easier to give up. It would have been easier to let this trauma define the rest of my life. What a great excuse! Every time something didn’t work out, health, relationships, finances, I could just blame it all on the terrible thing that happened to me, blame it on my ex.

But this would be a half life, not a life fully lived.

I have the satisfaction of knowing that I’ve not only survived but I’m living, I’ve rebuilt my life.

I have the satisfaction of knowing that the tools I used all worked. I’m healthy and successful in all areas of my life.

This could just be the best thing that ever happened to me!

This is why I’m making it my mission to share how I did it with as many people as possible. I meet people all the time who allow their negative life experiences to define them, to create their future and their reality. It doesn’t have to be this way.

It takes just two things. The desire to do it and the determination to change whatever needs changing.

It can seem a bit overwhelming. So if you were to ask me if I knew then what I know now, where would I start?

I would say that first, the most important thing is you have to make the decision that you want this more than anything. Make the definite decision that you want to rebuild. Then set a date to start.

It can be the next day. For me, it was a Monday. I gave myself the weekend to wallow a bit more, but Monday was the day I started getting my act together.

There’s a good reason for this. Setting a definite date gives your mind time to adjust to the idea and form a plan. It also means you are more likely to do it and stick to it.

Then pick one thing. It could be getting a shower and getting dressed and putting your makeup on or it could be starting an exercise class. Whatever it is, just start.

I know that you can figure this out on your own, but another thing I’ve learned in life is that sometimes it pays to follow and learn from others who have ‘been there and done that’. I have and I’m here to help you do the same I have done.

My book is a good place to start for guidance, as is my website, georgiaclare.com. Reach out either via email to in the comments and I will do my very best to help in any way I can.

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