How To Trust Love One More Time When Your Heart's Been Shattered
Why Closing Your Heart After Betrayal Is The Biggest Mistake You'll Make
The Weekly Compass - Love
How do you let yourself love again after being hurt?
Opening your heart again after a betrayal and after hurt seems like an impossible achievement.
I remember my first betrayal. I lived in a small town in Wales and was part of a very strict religious community which meant that my circle of friends was tiny. At 7 years old I had a best friend, a girl in the same congregation as me, our parents were friends.
We did everything together until one day she made a new friend in a town a few miles away and didn’t want to play with me anymore. There were no more sleepovers, no more play dates and my little heart hurt.
But I did get over it and over the years I’ve had many close friends.
But what if the betrayal is from someone you gave your heart to, your soulmate, from someone you thought was your forever?
Can you come back from that? Or more importantly, can you come back from it and ever love again? Or is the damage too great sometimes?
I never thought I would recover from my husband’s betrayal, the man I’d given my heart, my soul, and my life to for over 3 decades. I knew I’d recover. I knew I’d survive. But I doubted I’d ever love completely again.
But guess what? I did! Here are some of the ways I was able to do it.
If you’ve been enjoying my Monday posts and meditation podcast for a while please consider upgrading to become a paid subscriber. Paid subscribers get access to all content here and on my podcast and my Inner Peace Kit.
A Quote to Start the Week
Maya Angelou once wrote,
"Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time."
We have a choice after we’ve been hurt. We can close ourselves off and keep our hearts safe. That way they won’t get broken again. Never get too close to anyone, keep ourselves to ourselves, make sure we keep people in our life at a distance.
Or…
We can take chances. We can confide in friends, spend time with them. We can let ourselves be seen. Travel. Date. Socialise. Live!
Yes, we may get hurt again, but think of what we miss out on if we lock our precious hearts away.
Imagine missing out on your greatest love story because you played it safe.
It takes courage to love.
A Simple Practice
Try this today:
Imagine your perfect love. Don’t just imagine how he or she would look, but what qualities they have, how they treat you, what type of person they are, how they treat others. Be specific, detailed.
Ask yourself:
What sort of person am I when I have an open heart?
How do I look, act, walk, talk?
How will I feel?
Write down a detailed list of your ideal person. Don’t hold back. Remember, you can’t ask for too much.
If you aren’t definite about what you want, you may have the tendancy to settle for less than the best.
A Meditation to Support You
If we can’t visualise the life we want then we are not going to achieve anything more than we have right now.
This meditation helps you to imagine your ideal future and create it.
Make sure to use the free journal prompts to help you get the most from your meditation time.
Rebuild Your Life Visualisation Meditation
This guided meditation invites you to envision a renewed life through the power of visualisation.
Music to Set the Tone
Book to Read This Week
One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid
This is a lovely work of fiction that found me at a very low time in my life. My heart was broken and I’d lost a true love. This book made me realise that if I was brave enough again one day, I would be able to find another true love.
A Mantra for the Week
“My heart is open to giving and receiving love.”
Repeat it often. Write it on Post-Its, in your journal.
One Thing to Do
Take a few minutes each day to visualise the life you want to live. Be very detailed and specific.
Write it out, in lists or an essay. Or both.
(Life only gives us as much as we ask for. If we don’t ask for much, we won’t get much!)
This Week’s Compass Reminder:
Loving and losing are part of life. Who we become after a loss is up to us.
And who we are, determines our life.
Don’t miss out on what is out there for you because you are afraid.
If you’ve found value in this article please consider upgrading to become a paid subscriber. Paid subscribers get access to all content here and on my podcast and my Inner Peace Kit.
